Parody & Son: "Blow Me Today (Rant Mix)"

Friday, July 23, 2010

"Blow Me Today (Rant Mix)"

He’s quite the sweet talker, that Mel Gibson -- a real hopeless romantic. Make that just hopeless. Jews, Blacks, Hispanics, Gays, Women --is there anyone this guy likes? To his credit, he is totally unbiased in his prejudices. An equal opportunity hater. Clearly, Mel has some issues. Still, I could never imagine someone getting that upset over not getting a blow job, and believe me -- I’ve not gotten plenty of blow jobs…
WARNING: THIS PARODY CONTAINS FREQUENT USE OF THE WORD BLOW JOB, #$@%^!, &#*&@!! AND OTHER LANGUAGE THEY HAVEN’T INVENTED TYPEWRITER KEYS FOR YET.

Everyone’s favorite racist, anti-Semitic, homophobic,misogynist,holocaust-denying Hollywood superstar is at it again. Hear a musical blow by blow account of Mel Gibson’s latest antics, inspired by actual excerpts from his rants.Written & Produced by: Bruce Hopman Vocals by: Ross Hopman

1 comment:

Frogette said...: I do not for the life of me know what this guy is thinking (or taking...); July 28, 2010 at 12:51 PM

"SHOW ME THE WAY" BY PETER FRAMPTON (1974)

Peter Frampton’s name is synonymous with two songs: "Baby I Love Your Way" and "Show Me the Way." They, along with "Do You Feel Like We Do," were the monster hits from his commercial breakthrough, Frampton Comes Alive, and both were originally featured on his fourth studio album, 1974's Frampton. In a way, they were two sides of the same coin, both love songs about "the Way," which wasn't some Tao of Peter thing, but rather what he loved about his love. Since it was the ballad, "Baby, I Love Your Way" wound up being the standard, getting covered many times, but it was actually the smallest hit on the three Frampton Comes Alive singles. The biggest was "Show Me the Way," and it still brings back the heady thrills of 1976 when Frampton Comes Alive was a phenomenon. A large portion of the nostalgia has to do with his heavy use of talk box on the track -- in memory, it feels like he speaks through his guitar nearly as much as he sings... Read more at allmusic.com

“JERSEY GIRL” BY TOM WAITS (1980)

You probably know the Bruce Springsteen versions of this song, but Tom Waits was the composer of this romantic ballad from “Heart Attack & Vine.” Written for his wife-to-be at the time, Kathleen Brennan, who had been living in New Jersey, the lyrics are heartfelt, from the point of view of a smitten narrator about to abandon the bachelor life: "Got no time for the corner boys/Down in the street making all that noise/Don't want no whores on 8th Avenue/'Cause tonight I want to be with you." The "whores" line seems to be influenced, if only subconsciously by the Simon & Garfunkel line from "The Boxer": "Just a come-on from the whores on 7th Avenue." Thus, you still get the grit of the street, even in one of Waits’' most tender songs...

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“EYE OF THE TIGER” BY SURVIVOR (1982)

1982 was an interesting year for mainstream rock. Listeners were still a few years away from the chart-topping pop-metal bands and a few years removed from the oft-indulgent '70s rock era. As a result, people were left with an era that was mostly populated by bands that wore headbands and largely modeled their sound after Foreigner. In other words — bands that attempted to appeal to both the pop and rock audiences, by combining arena-worthy choruses and tough guitar riffs, topped off with a healthy scoop of melody. A perfect example would be Survivor, and their third release overall, Eye of the Tiger. With the group's first two releases barely causing a ripple on the charts, it was Tiger that catapulted the band to the top, thanks to the chart-topping title track, which was used as the theme song...
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"KUNG FU FIGHTING" BY CARL DOUGLAS (1974)

Timing is important in pop music in so many ways. It's crucial that a pop song reflects its time so that it's relatable. Timing played an important role on so many levels with Carl Douglas' career-making gold single "Kung Fu Fighting." In spring 1974, London-based producer Biddu was looking for a singer to record a song by "Rhinestone Cowboy" songwriter Larry Weiss. He remembered a singer that he'd worked with on the soundtrack of the Richard Roundtree movie Ecstasy.He thought that Jamaica-born singer Carl Douglas would be just right for "I Want to Give You My Everything." With the Weiss song recorded and pegged for the A-side, Biddu wondered what the B-side would be. He asked Douglas if he had any original songs. Out of the five songs the singer sang off the top of his head, the producer picked "Kung Fu Fighting." It was recorded with the karate chop-related "hoo"s and "haaas"s with the remaining studio time they had they had leftover. The kung fu movie craze driven in part by movie legend Bruce Lee and the ABC-TV series Kung Fu... Read more at allmusic.com

"I WALK THE LINE" BY JOHNNY CASH (1957)

A stark, desolate declaration of eternal love that at times seems to border on dangerous obsession, "I Walk the Line" made Johnny Cash a star in the summer of 1956 — not only on the country front, where the Man in Black had prevailed ever since his Sun Records debut, "Cry! Cry! Cry!," the previous autumn, and its follow-ups "So Doggone Lonesome" and "Folsom Prison Blues" — but on the pop hit parade too, where the country & western chart-topper made a very impressive number 17 showing on Billboard's lists. "I Walk the Line" convincingly announced the arrival of a new and unique talent whose deep, sincere vocal style and unusually sparse band accompaniment from the Tennessee Two (guitarist Luther Perkins' rudimentary lead fills ...
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“Kokomo” by The Beach Boys (1983)

You probably know it best from the 1988 release on the "Cocktail" soundtrack...and that video with John "Uncle Jesse" Stamos! The "Kokomo" single backed with "Tutti Frutti" by Little Richard was first released through Elektra Records in July 1988. It peaked at the #1 position on the Billboard charts on November 5, 1988 after knocking out "A Groovy Kind of Love" by Phil Collins. This meant that it was The Beach Boys' first #1 hit in the United States since "Good Vibrations" in 1966, making it the longest time span between two number one hits in America for a band (22 years). It is also their only #1 hit not written or produced by Brian Wilson. After spending just one week at the top of the charts, the single was knocked out of the number one spot by The Escape Club song "Wild, Wild West". After being signed to Capitol Records following the success of the initial single, Capitol clearly tried to take advantage of the song's popularity by issuing the song...
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“Hey Paula” by Paul & Paula (1962)

Getting a number-one pop hit was easy for West Texans Ray Hildebrand (Joshua, TX) and Jill Jackson (Camry, TX). Mission accomplished with their first single. But the old saying, "you don't appreciate what you don't work hard for," applies here. "Hey Paula" aced Billboard's pop survey and made the Top Ten on most R&B charts, prompting Motown Records to team Marvin Gaye and Mary Wells to cash in on the fad. After pairing Gaye with Kim Weston, Motown processed the Paul & Paula paradigm successfully by pairing Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell. Hildebrand and Jackson were students at Howard Payne College when a Brownwood, TX, DJ called for entertainers to volunteer to benefit the American Cancer Society. They volunteered and sang "Hey Paula," a song Hildebrand wrote. It went over so well that... Read more at allmusic.com

“Born in the U.S.A” by Bruce Springsteen (1984)

Such is the thin red, white, and blue line separating patriotism and social outrage that "Born in the U.S.A." was nearly co-opted by president Ronald Reagan during his 1984 re-election run; a more bitter indictment of the American way it's tough to imagine, yet the song's anthemic passion nevertheless spoke louder than words to not only politicians, but also many Bruce Springsteen fans, all of them mistaking its anger and intensity for flag-waving, hand-over-heart devotion. The title track of Springsteen's most successful LP, "Born in the U.S.A." tells the story of a Vietnam veteran who returns to the country he protected and served only to find himself a pariah, unable even to secure work at the local refinery; it's the American dream gone horribly wrong: small-town kid goes off to war to avoid jail time, loses his brother in battle, and comes home to face a future as bleak as his past. Where the classic "Born to Run" once captured the poetry and romanticism of flight, a decade later, "Born in the U.S.A." reveals the bitter truth: "I'm ten years burning down the road/Nowhere to run, ain't got nowhere to go." In essence, escape is futile, and for many, the American dream isn't so much a privilege as it is a curse...
Read more at allmusic.com

“Can’t Get Enough Of You Baby” by Smashmouth (1999)

Based on their infectious summer single "Walking on the Sun," it was easy to dismiss Smash Mouth as a one-hit wonder, since it was hard to believe that they'd be able to top that sun-kissed delight that was easily the highlight of their debut, Fush Yu Mang. Perhaps that's why their second record, Astro Lounge, feels like such a surprise, since it carries through on the promise of "Walking on the Sun." Like Sugar Ray — a fellow veteran of the ska-punk underworld who delivered a follow-up that owed more to melodic pop and new wave than its hit predecessor — Smash Mouth have created an album that is unabashedly fun, catchy, and lightweight, the ideal music for a car radio or a day at the beach. It's true that nothing on Astro Lounge is as immediately grabbing as "Walking on the Sun," but every song shares the same party-ready mentality and irresistible, trashy AM-radio vibe. No, nothing on Astro Lounge is particularly deep, but it's all good fun and it never disappoints — which is quite a remarkable feat...
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“Because I Got High” by Afroman (2001)

"Because I Got High" is one of those genius, perfectly conceived and executed singles that seems to arise from the ether as if it has always been there. Sparely instrumented, recorded so nonchalantly it's hard to believe that anybody believed that the tape was rolling, it's a riot — it's not just a frat rock anthem, it's a logical, brilliant record, escalating from verse to verse, with its consciously off-handed comments still capable of eliciting extreme laughter on the 20th spin... Read more at allmusic.com

“Jailhouse Rock” by Elvis Presely (1957)

Written as the title track for Elvis' third movie, "Jailhouse Rock" is one of rock & roll's great irreducibles. Written by Jerry Lieber and Mike Stoller, the song sports one of rock & roll's most simplistic riffs, one that can be played by even the most stylistically challenged of musicians. Presley's original starts with that chordal sliding riff, moving from the key of D to the tune's official key of E flat (although almost no one has recorded the tune in that tune since), punctuated by two raw slaps to the snare drum. Read more at allmusic.com

"Jingle Bells" by James Pierpont

Jingle Bells was written between 1850 and 1857 by James Pierpont, the son of Unitarian minister and abolitionist John Pierpont. The most reliable account of the composition of Jingle Bells places its creation in the town of Medford, MA, where during the wintertime there were sleigh races through the center of town, originating at the Medford House; as the sleighs passed along their route, townspeople braved the cold and cheered on the drivers, sometimes singing carols and other songs. Pierpont had just returned from California, having failed to strike it rich during the gold rush of 1949. Witnessing the sleigh rides and singing, Pierpont was allegedly inspired to write the song; he accomplished this at the home of Mrs. Otis Waterman, a Medford lady who had the only piano in town. After Pierpont was finished playing the tune that was in his head, Mrs. Waterman commented "Oh! That's a very merry little jingle." This statement further inspired the words ... Read more at allmusic.com

“Why Can’t We Be Friends?” by War (1975)

One of War's finest creations, "Why Can't We Be Friends?" reflects the band's urban roots perfectly, and there is a certain charm to the entire affair. Camaraderie, communication, and unity between people of all races is the obvious subject matter here, and the very big vocal arrangement reflects this perfectly. A funky guitar riff from Howard Roberts leads the way here, along with B.B. Dickerson's powerful conga performance. The song conveys that everyone is destined to live and love each other, and that the wall of prejudice will soon crumble. Read more at allmusic.com

“Love Machine, Pt. 1” by The Miracles (1975)

With Billy Griffin on lead vocal, The Miracles scored their second pop number one ( "Tears of a Clown" is the other one). The irresistible chugger with Bobby Rogers' ingratiating growls and Griffin's airy tenor directing the charge was the highlight of their conceptual City of Angels album; the tune is a braggadocio account of the LP's main character, Michael. The 1976 release was The Miracles' biggest record and their last significant chart entry; Griffin and Warren Moore are credited as the writers. Amazingly, this disco king didn't ace the R&B chart. Griffin redid the song with Ian Levine, and did it again as recently as 2001 on a self-produced set, but the original still reigns supreme. From allmusic.com

“Money” by Pink Floyd (1973)

Along with "Another Brick in the Wall, Pt. II," "Money" gave Pink Floyd a Top 40 hit, peaking at number 13 and remaining within the Top 40 for nine consecutive weeks. The irony is unavoidable, as a song that dismisses the glorification of wealth and preaches about the evils of unnecessary consumption catapults the band who is singing it into commercial fame. Pink Floyd surely wasn't aiming for a chart hit, but the elements of "Money" contained a head-bobbing rhythm and a friendly yet...
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"Who Are You" by The Who (1971)

The subculture of the Mods — a subculture which informed the early music of the Who, who in time would come to personify mod thinking in the eyes of many fans — was once described as an effort to transform "revolt into style." Appropriately, both revolt and style always seemed to matter most to the Who's guitarist and primary songwriter, Pete Townshend; from the band's earliest records, he seemed to be flailing against the outer boundaries of rock & roll, looking for new ways to approach the ...Read more at allmusic.com

"Free Ride" by Dan Hartman (1979)

“That’s Amore” by Dean Martin (1953)

Dean Martin had been recording singles and EPs for more than six years when he stepped into the studio on November 20, 1952 to cut his first ten-inch, eight-song LP. Called Dean Martin Sings, it featured songs from the Martin and Lewis film The Stooge, a near-drama about a singer who needs his comic partner more than he realizes, that was shot in 1951 but not released until 1953. Only one song, "A Girl Named Mary and a Boy Named Bill," was actually written for the score, which otherwise consisted of semi-standards from the 1920s and '30s, notably "Just One More Chance," best-known as a hit for Martin's primary influence, Bing Crosby, and "I Feel a Song Comin' On." The versatile Martin gives unusually chaste and precise readings of the songs, paying more attention to the material than he did when given less interesting... Read more at allmusic.com

“Hot Blooded” by Foreigner (1978)

Foreigner promptly followed up its blockbuster debut with the equally successful "Double Vision" LP, which featured the FM mega-hits "Hot Blooded" and the driving title track. Opting not to mess with a good formula, the band wisely sticks to the polished hard rock sound that made its first record such a hit. Other highlights include "Love Has Taken Its Toll" and "Blue Morning, Blue Day." While quite a few arena rock acts of the '70s found the transformation into the '80s quite difficult, several acts continued to flourish and enjoyed some of their biggest commercial success... Read more at allmusic.com