When the Guantanamo Bay Tourism Board approached me to help promote the Guantanamo Bay detention facility as a world-class resort destination, I jumped at the opportunity. Politics aside, this is a prime piece of Caribbean real estate. Oceanfront property ain’t cheap, and we are in the midst of a financial crisis. I figured there must me something we can do to cash in. Maybe we turn it into a landmark destination? Like Alcatraz. Or a resort zone? You know, like Cancun. Or how about a Vegas-style theme hotel like Ceasar’s Palace? This way we can keep all the orange jumpsuits. Guantanamo Bay Hotel & Casino. That actually has a nice ring to it. Sure, they all laughed when Bugsy Siegel had the dream of turning an isolated patch of dessert into a gambling Mecca, but who’s laughing now? (Okay, maybe that wasn’t the best example since he was shot to death, but you get the point.) When they normalize relations with Cuba, we’ll see who’s laughing. To make sure people take this seriously (we wouldn’t want people to think this is joke!!) we even have a website:
But there’s much more work to be done. Currently, we have plans to convert all interrogation cells into more guest-friendly “Chat Rooms.” And we’re re-thinking our check-out policy. Of course, I’m counting on my friends in the ad world to vote in the slogan poll, or come up with your own. Like any good ex-ad man, if you come up with the winning theme I will gladly take credit for it…
The Guantanamo Bay Tourism Board invites you to visit the most exclusive island getaway in the world. Experience our warm Cuban sun, cool Caribbean breezes and world infamous CIA hospitality.
Lyrics: Bruce Hopman Vocals: Ross Hopman